Grasping

"No matter how much you love something, it is impossible to hold it so tightly that death can not slip it from your grasp.  But you can hold on so tightly that life cannot get through."

-Suzanne Clothier

There has been a lot of loss this year in my circle of friends and acquaintances.  A lot.  And often with particularly tragic circumstances.  I've watched people go through some of my worst nightmares.

My heart has gone out to all the people I know who have suffered these losses.  I've grieved, and extended condolences and support where I could.

And we move on, because that is what you do.

At least I thought I had.  But lately, I've noticed that I haven't had my typical levels of motivation or enthusiasm about many of my favorite things.  I've found myself wanting to do little more than be at home with our little family, curled up with them.  It finally occurred to me that I'm attempting to cling to those things I'm most afraid of losing, and finding myself getting stuck in my attempts to do so.  Instead of always being on the move, I wish could freeze time and sit safely in the presence of my loved ones forever.

But I can't.  None of us can.  All we can do is become paralyzed in our attempts.

I've been attempting to hold on too tightly lately.  Time to let life back in.